Journals22
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I got a job!
1 min read
Now I work at a theme park, in the merchandising section. I'll find out more Saturday.
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Last weekend, I finished sorting through all my things. I condensed my belongings from well-over-thirty large boxes to:
1 box of assorted papers including writing, poetry, and drawing
1 box of stuffed animals
2 boxes of porcelein dolls and snowglobes
1 box of toys and pictures and various keepsakes
2 boxes of kitchen supplies
3 boxes of bedding and pillows
1 box of electronics and shoes
1 box of random things like my cd player boombox
1 box of trophies and plaques
etc
so... it was less than twenty, all told, okay? But that was packed with the knowledge that half of it would go out in the trailer to be used and stored - all my kitchenware and bedding.
By the time the weekend was over, I had, iirc:
1 box of stuffed animals
2 boxes of porcelein dolls and snowglobes
1 box of toys and pictures and various keepsakes
1 box of electronics
1 box of trophies and plaques
Notice something missing there?
Yeah. ALL MY PAPERS WERE THROWN AWAY. (Again.)
Not only the packed ones, but the ones in my suitcase - when I changed some stuff from a box to a suitcase, because the train wouldn't carry a box, apparently - were also thrown away. All I have now are two large sketchbooks and a small sketchbook and whatever's on my thumb drive.
I've been so fucking pissed off and so stressed from her attitude I can barely even think about it, let alone try to recoup any of it. "Her" being... oh, I can't even tell you who she is, because I'm still too mad at her to be nice. But she is a person I must obey and she is the person who made me get rid of it all. (Again.) She said, "This is the crap that got you kicked out of school." And made me carry my box of paper to the recycling bin. (please note, I had already filled the bin with papers of less importance.)
And why do I keep saying "again"? BECAUSE SHE DID THIS TO ME BEFORE.
When I was in middle school? High school? Whatever it was... I was cleaning my room and decided to put all my Legos into a smaller box - by then, we'd lost so many of them that they all fit - and then I put all my writings and drawings - including all the first drafts of the Syndarian legends, with my initial conceptualization of the Realms and the characters - into the box that slid under my bed. Well, she threw a fit, and made me throw all of it away. I never forgave her for that!!! And then when she FUCKING DOES IT AGAIN! *ahem* when she fucking does it again, she has THE NERVE to turn and say to me, so conversationally, "So, let me know when you're done being mad at me."
...
...
...
You can read those dots as me mentally screaming at the walls of my soul room and throwing things. I don't even have the words to express the depth of the anger that her words makes me feel. I don't have anything else to say, except,
I'm sorry. I am not in the mood for creating things. I am barely able to sit still and "do what comes next".
Haha! What do you want to bet I never break down for the drill sergeant, huh? He doesn't have this kind of power over me!!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But you will fucking NOT TAKE MY WRITING AWAY AGAIN. Never. I thought you would have developed enough FUCKING RESPECT for me, so that you would be able to see that these things that I value have value to you too.
Fine. Be that way. You obviously don't care to have this "relationship" with me. Your words are empty. I've promised to return at the end of the summer, but you won't be able to have me "back". I still haven't forgiven you for the first time you did this, you really think I'll forgive you for this?????
I'm so over this. Done. Finit. Whatever.
Sorry to my IRL friends who didn't get the explanation before this. I don't want to talk about it. This is a summary (MISSING MOST OF THE DETAILS), just to keep everyone up to date, oh, and I hate crying in public libraries. So. No more of this. I just want to forget as much of this as I can as soon as I can.
And so help me, you who I have not named, if you find this and read this and attempt to LECTURE me about POSTING it on the internet, BE GLAD I DIDN'T DO IT ON FACEBOOK. Where all of YOUR friends would be able to read it. That is the kindness I will show you because of the respect that I have given you. But so help me God - if you threaten me or make my life miserable over this - I make this promise - I WILL POST IT AND LINK TO THIS POST FOR TIME/DATE APPROVAL. I don't have any power over you, but I can make your life at least uncomfortable - and soon, with none of your approval necessary, I will be out of your reach for however long I wish it.
So forgive me for being like the bluejay and scolding you from a hard-to-reach position. But. I will not forgive you. Sorry. I'll have to deal with God about it for the rest of my life. Thanks for that.
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
I have to change the subject or I'll be mad all day. That would be GREAT for my digestive system, wouldn't it? Anyway, I found an interesting new manga - the manga section at this library is very well stocked! I'm reading House of Five Leaves right now. I can't take it home, because I don't have a permanent address in this city yet, so I can't get a library card. Oh well. It's still pretty cool. Oh, and my buddy said she might lend me her library card, so that would be awesome-sauce.
Um, oh yeah, and I'm learning Spanish. There are these great lessons that this family is lending me. Thanks so much, guys!! Now that I have batteries for the tape player, LOL!
1 box of assorted papers including writing, poetry, and drawing
1 box of stuffed animals
2 boxes of porcelein dolls and snowglobes
1 box of toys and pictures and various keepsakes
2 boxes of kitchen supplies
3 boxes of bedding and pillows
1 box of electronics and shoes
1 box of random things like my cd player boombox
1 box of trophies and plaques
etc
so... it was less than twenty, all told, okay? But that was packed with the knowledge that half of it would go out in the trailer to be used and stored - all my kitchenware and bedding.
By the time the weekend was over, I had, iirc:
1 box of stuffed animals
2 boxes of porcelein dolls and snowglobes
1 box of toys and pictures and various keepsakes
1 box of electronics
1 box of trophies and plaques
Notice something missing there?
Yeah. ALL MY PAPERS WERE THROWN AWAY. (Again.)
Not only the packed ones, but the ones in my suitcase - when I changed some stuff from a box to a suitcase, because the train wouldn't carry a box, apparently - were also thrown away. All I have now are two large sketchbooks and a small sketchbook and whatever's on my thumb drive.
I've been so fucking pissed off and so stressed from her attitude I can barely even think about it, let alone try to recoup any of it. "Her" being... oh, I can't even tell you who she is, because I'm still too mad at her to be nice. But she is a person I must obey and she is the person who made me get rid of it all. (Again.) She said, "This is the crap that got you kicked out of school." And made me carry my box of paper to the recycling bin. (please note, I had already filled the bin with papers of less importance.)
And why do I keep saying "again"? BECAUSE SHE DID THIS TO ME BEFORE.
When I was in middle school? High school? Whatever it was... I was cleaning my room and decided to put all my Legos into a smaller box - by then, we'd lost so many of them that they all fit - and then I put all my writings and drawings - including all the first drafts of the Syndarian legends, with my initial conceptualization of the Realms and the characters - into the box that slid under my bed. Well, she threw a fit, and made me throw all of it away. I never forgave her for that!!! And then when she FUCKING DOES IT AGAIN! *ahem* when she fucking does it again, she has THE NERVE to turn and say to me, so conversationally, "So, let me know when you're done being mad at me."
...
...
...
You can read those dots as me mentally screaming at the walls of my soul room and throwing things. I don't even have the words to express the depth of the anger that her words makes me feel. I don't have anything else to say, except,
I'm sorry. I am not in the mood for creating things. I am barely able to sit still and "do what comes next".
Haha! What do you want to bet I never break down for the drill sergeant, huh? He doesn't have this kind of power over me!!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But you will fucking NOT TAKE MY WRITING AWAY AGAIN. Never. I thought you would have developed enough FUCKING RESPECT for me, so that you would be able to see that these things that I value have value to you too.
Fine. Be that way. You obviously don't care to have this "relationship" with me. Your words are empty. I've promised to return at the end of the summer, but you won't be able to have me "back". I still haven't forgiven you for the first time you did this, you really think I'll forgive you for this?????
I'm so over this. Done. Finit. Whatever.
Sorry to my IRL friends who didn't get the explanation before this. I don't want to talk about it. This is a summary (MISSING MOST OF THE DETAILS), just to keep everyone up to date, oh, and I hate crying in public libraries. So. No more of this. I just want to forget as much of this as I can as soon as I can.
And so help me, you who I have not named, if you find this and read this and attempt to LECTURE me about POSTING it on the internet, BE GLAD I DIDN'T DO IT ON FACEBOOK. Where all of YOUR friends would be able to read it. That is the kindness I will show you because of the respect that I have given you. But so help me God - if you threaten me or make my life miserable over this - I make this promise - I WILL POST IT AND LINK TO THIS POST FOR TIME/DATE APPROVAL. I don't have any power over you, but I can make your life at least uncomfortable - and soon, with none of your approval necessary, I will be out of your reach for however long I wish it.
So forgive me for being like the bluejay and scolding you from a hard-to-reach position. But. I will not forgive you. Sorry. I'll have to deal with God about it for the rest of my life. Thanks for that.
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
I have to change the subject or I'll be mad all day. That would be GREAT for my digestive system, wouldn't it? Anyway, I found an interesting new manga - the manga section at this library is very well stocked! I'm reading House of Five Leaves right now. I can't take it home, because I don't have a permanent address in this city yet, so I can't get a library card. Oh well. It's still pretty cool. Oh, and my buddy said she might lend me her library card, so that would be awesome-sauce.
Um, oh yeah, and I'm learning Spanish. There are these great lessons that this family is lending me. Thanks so much, guys!! Now that I have batteries for the tape player, LOL!
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I. Hate. SORTING. :(
2 min read
Oh, did you notice the notice? We can put special characters in our titles now! Yay. And they fixed the submission pages for mobile devices, so I might be able to submit stuff using Stash even using the Nook. I haven't tried it yet, I'm in a place without wifi atm.
But... I hate sorting with a passion. I set myself a goal - perhaps unrealistic, but it was a goal - and I failed at it. I said, a suitcase and a box, and here I am with a suitcase and a box just for clothes, then two more boxes for books, then a big tub for old toys and stuffies (ah, my stuffies... T_T ) and a box just for old writings and drawings I can't sort today, then a box for the paper and writings and drawings I want to take with me... and two boxes with porcelein dolls that I haven't even opened - I can't bear to look at them! They're too pretty, and I'm so far over my limit!!! Maybe I will have to get a storage shed after all, but I don't have any more money this month...
T_T I so need a job.
And then on top of all of that, there's all my stuff that I'm using right now, which isn't contained in a box, but just might take up a whole box and a half on it's own. I'm so upset! I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!
On a slightly happier note, I found some old CDs with the original files for my early Nuvalnor stories. (found some floppies too, but I can't read those any more. But I think I copied the data off them already... hope so, cuz I tossed them.) At some point in the future I'll probably work the stories into some semblance of maturity and post some of it up here. Maybe. I wrote like a child when I was a kid, after all. But the plotlines are sound, even if I thought the strangest things were funny.
But... I hate sorting with a passion. I set myself a goal - perhaps unrealistic, but it was a goal - and I failed at it. I said, a suitcase and a box, and here I am with a suitcase and a box just for clothes, then two more boxes for books, then a big tub for old toys and stuffies (ah, my stuffies... T_T ) and a box just for old writings and drawings I can't sort today, then a box for the paper and writings and drawings I want to take with me... and two boxes with porcelein dolls that I haven't even opened - I can't bear to look at them! They're too pretty, and I'm so far over my limit!!! Maybe I will have to get a storage shed after all, but I don't have any more money this month...
T_T I so need a job.
And then on top of all of that, there's all my stuff that I'm using right now, which isn't contained in a box, but just might take up a whole box and a half on it's own. I'm so upset! I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!
On a slightly happier note, I found some old CDs with the original files for my early Nuvalnor stories. (found some floppies too, but I can't read those any more. But I think I copied the data off them already... hope so, cuz I tossed them.) At some point in the future I'll probably work the stories into some semblance of maturity and post some of it up here. Maybe. I wrote like a child when I was a kid, after all. But the plotlines are sound, even if I thought the strangest things were funny.
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So it's official...
1 min read
I officially announced it to all my IRL friends on my birthday, but...
This week I'm going through all my things and paring down to a box and a suitcase. Why? Because at the end of September I'll be shipping out to Great Lakes, Michigan and going to Navy Basic Training. Between now and then I'll be staying somewheres in LA, and hopefully getting a job. So... yeah. See you in the aftermath, lol.
Oh, and I cut my beautiful braid off. I have a pixie cut now, but it's really poofy because I don't have "pomade" yet.
(EDIT: Of course, short hair goes under wigs much, much easier than long hair - so I wouldn't be limited to cosplaying timeskip Nami or something. Assuming I ever do get into cosplay, lol... Maybe in LA I can play a little, and when I am done with school I can collect some things. And I do like my short hair - but right now I'm wearing a beanie BECAUSE I'M COLD. I'm not used to that...)
This week I'm going through all my things and paring down to a box and a suitcase. Why? Because at the end of September I'll be shipping out to Great Lakes, Michigan and going to Navy Basic Training. Between now and then I'll be staying somewheres in LA, and hopefully getting a job. So... yeah. See you in the aftermath, lol.
Oh, and I cut my beautiful braid off. I have a pixie cut now, but it's really poofy because I don't have "pomade" yet.
(EDIT: Of course, short hair goes under wigs much, much easier than long hair - so I wouldn't be limited to cosplaying timeskip Nami or something. Assuming I ever do get into cosplay, lol... Maybe in LA I can play a little, and when I am done with school I can collect some things. And I do like my short hair - but right now I'm wearing a beanie BECAUSE I'M COLD. I'm not used to that...)
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My story entry won at Neopets!
2 min read
That sounds kind of loserish when you consider that I'm probably way too old for that game!!
But it sounds a hell of a lot better than homeless and unemployed, right?
....ey, shut up.
ANYWAY! I'm published!
Technically, this might be the first fiction of mine to be published publicly by someone other than me!! Yay!!
You can read the whole story here: www.neopets.com/art/storytell.…
I'm windy_chrome, of course - Windy Chrome the WindmillObsessed!
Oh, and I _totally_ won a Gold Brush doing this. :3
So in short, I feel like this:
But it sounds a hell of a lot better than homeless and unemployed, right?
....ey, shut up.
ANYWAY! I'm published!
Technically, this might be the first fiction of mine to be published publicly by someone other than me!! Yay!!
You can read the whole story here: www.neopets.com/art/storytell.…
I'm windy_chrome, of course - Windy Chrome the WindmillObsessed!
Oh, and I _totally_ won a Gold Brush doing this. :3
So in short, I feel like this:
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